Monthly Archives: January 2016

The Magic Ingredient

I’m sure there are exceptions somewhere, but so far, in 35-plus years of taking note of this, everybody I’ve met and gotten to know who devoutly adheres to this discipline becomes exceptionally successful and everybody I’ve met and gotten to know who ignores this discipline fails. Is it possible that this one discipline alone is so powerful it literally determines success or failure?

The discipline I’m talking about is punctuality — being where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there, as promised, without exception, without excuse, every time, all the time. I cannot tell you how important I believe this is. But I’ll tell you some of the reasons why I believe in its indescribably great importance.

First of all, being punctual gives you the right—the positioning—to expect and demand that others treat your time with the utmost respect. You cannot reasonably hope to have others treat your time with respect if you show little or no respect for theirs. So if you’re not punctual, you have no leverage, no moral authority. But the punctual person gains that advantage over staff, associates, vendors, clients, everybody.

It is my conviction that a person who cannot keep appointments on time, cannot keep scheduled commitments or cannot stick to a schedule cannot be trusted in other ways either. There is a link between respect for others’ time and respect for others’ opinions, property, rights, agreements and contracts. A person reveals a great deal about himself by his punctuality or lack of punctuality. As a general rule of thumb, I use this as a means of determining whether or not I want to do business with someone. And, when I violate this, as I occasionally foolishly do, I always get burned.

Let me give you one example. Dozens of years ago, a person seeking to do business with me arranged to meet me at an airport, where I had a 90-minute layover. We agreed, and I confirmed by fax that we would meet at my arrival gate, at my arrival time, and then go to that airline’s club room right there on the concourse for the meeting. When I arrived, the guy wasn’t there. Some ten minutes later, I’m paged and told to meet him in the main terminal where he is because he ran late getting to the airport. It takes me ten minutes on the tram to get to the main terminal, and I have to cut another ten minutes of our meeting to allow time to get back to my gate. I have to go through this to meet with a man so disrespectful of a commitment made and of my time that he cannot organize his life to arrive at a meeting on time in his own home city. If he could not be relied on to honor such an easy commitment, why should anybody believe he would honor more important ones?

Still, violating my own rule, I went ahead and accepted this guy as a client. It was predictably ugly. He lied, he cheated, and he was completely disorganized, dysfunctional, and unreasonable. He sucked up a pretty good chunk of my time, and it cost me thousands of dollars to get rid of him.

Now, here’s a “success secret” for you: I’m not the only person to have figured out this punctuality-integrity link. I’m just not that smart. I’ve stumbled on something that a whole lot of other smart, successful, and influential people already know and secretly use to make their determinations about who they will buy from or not buy from, do business with or not do business with, help or not help, trust or distrust. If you are not a punctual person, others you wish to positively influence negatively judge you.

If you think that successful people—people you want to deal with—do not have their own little “systems” for judging people, you’re very naïve. Not only do they have such a system, most successful people make a point of having “instant reject criteria,” to save time in determining who they want to deal with and who they don’t.

One of my earliest business mentors said that there were only two good reasons for being late for a meeting with him: one, you’re dead; two, you want to be.

So, to borrow from Dale Carnegie, if you want to win friends and influence people, be punctual. And, if you’d like to save yourself a lot of time and trouble, start using this as a means of judging those who would do business with you.
DAN S. KENNEDY
CONTRIBUTOR
Author, Strategic Advisor, Consultant

Charles Chambers
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Passion; The Antidote of Failure

Passion has several perks this include;
Passion fuels confidence. 
“A person with passion typically exudes confidence, and confidence creates value for themselves and others by leading the way, not showing the way,” he explains. Professionals who are confident are great leaders and earn the respect and confidence of others.

Passion creates excitement. 
Excitement is something that can be shared and creates organized value, not disarray. “Professionals who are excited create enthusiasm in their teams and with others, and are viewed as great supporters.” This contributes to their success, as well, he says.

Passion is contagious.
When you’re passionate, you make those around you feel excited — and everyone wins. “A person who exudes passion creates group dynamics and value, not dissension. Professionals who are passionate maximize the energy of the team and are viewed as great mentors,” Lucatch says. 

Passionate people are usually the most successful, they pray with conviction, profess and have only two options for themselves; They will either win or die winning.
A white flame passion (extremely burning desire) results in several outcomes. The passionate people do stand out from the crowd since they;
1. Start their days early.
It’s not that passionate people don’t enjoy sleeping – they do. It’s just that once they’re up, they get excited about the work ahead of them. Even if the particular project or tasks they will be working on may not excite them, their future aspirations and the passion they have for what they do drive them to get out of bed rather quickly. Passionate people are all about doing and you can’t do much if you spend half the day sleeping.

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2. Always have their passions on their mind.
They’re basically obsessed – hopefully in a healthy manner. Healthy passions are healthy obsessions. You can’t keep your mind from returning to the topic and can’t help but get excited by those thoughts. Passionate people live in a world in which the few things that matter to them in life basically involve the passions they love.

3. Get excited more than the average person.
Passionate individuals may not always feel excited – no one is excited all the time – but when they get excited, they get excited more fully, for a longer duration and, overall, more frequently.

It’s because they have more in their lives to get excited about. They devote their time to usually one or two things and therefore make more progress than those who split their time amongst many things. The momentum keeps them excited.

4. Get pissed off and emotional more than the average person.
Just as the passionate get excited, they also can come off as very moody. They go from happy and excited to pissed off and miserable. Because they are passionate, they are much more emotionally connected to whatever it is they are doing – so when things go well, the world is a beautiful place, but when things go awry, sh*t gets real very quickly.

5. Willing to risk more and put more on the line.
If you’re passionate, you have a clear understanding of what your purpose in life is – if only your purpose for that very moment. For this reason, you give much less importance to other things. Therefore you’re willing to risk more for the thing(s) that you find most important, that you are most passionate about. Those that are passionate are much more willing to give up things that don’t fall in their scope of passion.

6. Devote their lives to their dreams.
Life is filled with things worth doing and things not worth doing. That which we are most passionate about is what we believe to be worthwhile, everything else seems to be wasteful and lacking. Passionate individuals gradually gravitate towards their passions and away from the rest that life has to offer. They know what will make them happy and are willing to ignore the rest.

7. Surround themselves with their work.
People say that it isn’t good to bring work home. However, for the most passionate, work is home. It’s not possible for these individuals not to bring their work home because their work is in them and reflects in everything they have and do. But it doesn’t feel like work to them. It feels like life.

8. Can’t help but talk about their projects.
They know that you probably don’t want to hear about it because you hear about it all the time, but they don’t really want to talk about much else. And even if they do, their conversations almost always steer back to their passions. They can’t help it because they don’t see their passions as separate from themselves; they are their passions.

9. Tend to either be pushing ahead full throttle or are completely still.
Passionate people aren’t always the best at balancing their lives. They get overly excited and push themselves to their limits. They love working and love moving forward quickly. But they eventually do run out of steam and crash. Only the seasoned and wise passionate individuals have learned to balance havoc and calm in a healthy manner.

10. Always think positively about the future.
Their minds are always looking ahead, looking at what can be instead of what is. This has its good sides and bad, but nevertheless, they are always thinking about their next move.

The one great outcome is that they always have something to look forward to and are excited to make it happen. As long as they remember to hang around in the present from time to time, they don’t run into too much trouble.

Choose do you want a normal life whereby you live looking at the end with joy or worry. It’s your life. YOLO is a warning. Review your new year resolutions and do something that you really love.

Peace; Wealth; Harmony
O & O
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Charles Chambers
The Luxury King
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Worry the Killer

Worrying can be helpful when it spurs you to take action and solve a problem. But if you’re preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. Unrelenting doubts and fears can be paralyzing. They can sap your emotional energy, send your anxiety levels soaring, and interfere with your daily life. It wil deny you the chance to enjoy the spur of rhe moment. You may having the greatest boyfriend or fiancee or husband or girlfriend but if it’s all about what if this, what if that you will never enjoy or see the beauty that one person brings.
The good news is that chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more positive perspective.

Why is it so hard to stop worrying?
Constant worrying takes a heavy toll. It keeps you up at night and makes you tense and edgy during the day. You hate feeling like a nervous wreck. So why is it so difficult to stop worrying?

For most chronic worriers, the anxious thoughts are fueled by the beliefs—both negative and positive—they hold about worrying.

On the negative side, you may believe that your constant worrying is harmful, that it’s going to drive you crazy or affect your physical health. Or you may worry that you’re going to lose all control over your worrying—that it will take over and never stop.

On the positive side, you may believe that your worrying helps you avoid bad things, prevents problems, prepares you for the worst, or leads to solutions.

Negative beliefs, or worrying about worrying, add to your anxiety and keep worry going. But positive beliefs about worrying can be just as damaging. It’s tough to break the worry habit if you believe that your worrying protects you. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, you must give up your belief that worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can regain control of your worried mind.

Why you keep worrying
You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you—you can’t sleep, and you can’t get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:

Maybe I’ll find a solution.
I don’t want to overlook anything.
If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I’ll figure it out.
I don’t want to be surprised.
I want to be responsible.
You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.

Source: The Worry Cure: Seven Steps to Stop Worry from Stopping You by Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D.

Self-help tip #1: Create a worry period

It’s tough to be productive in your daily life when anxiety and worry are dominating your thoughts. But what can you do? If you’re like many chronic worriers, your anxious thoughts feel uncontrollable. You’ve tried lots of things, from distracting yourself, reasoning with your worries, and trying to think positive, but nothing seems to work.

Why trying to stop anxious thoughts doesn’t work

Telling yourself to stop worrying doesn’t work—at least not for long. You can distract yourself or suppress anxious thoughts for a moment, but you can’t banish them for good. In fact, trying to do so often makes them stronger and more persistent.

You can test this out for yourself. Close your eyes and picture a pink elephant. Once you can see the pink elephant in your mind, stop thinking about it. Whatever you do, for the next five minutes, don’t think about pink elephants!

How did you do? Did thoughts of pink elephants keep popping in your brain?

“Thought stopping” backfires because it forces you to pay extra attention to the very thought you want to avoid. You always have to be watching for it, and this very emphasis makes it seem even more important.

But that doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to control your worry. You just need to try a different approach. This is where the strategy of postponing worrying comes in. Rather than trying to stop or get rid of an anxious thought, give yourself permission to have it, but put off thinking any more about it until later.

Learn to postpone worrying

Create a “worry period.” Choose a set time and place for worrying. It should be the same every day (e.g. in the living room from 5:00 to 5:20 p.m.) and early enough that it won’t make you anxious right before bedtime. During your worry period, you’re allowed to worry about whatever’s on your mind. The rest of the day, however, is a worry-free zone.
Postpone your worry. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, make a brief note of it on paper and postpone it to your worry period. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Save it for later and continue to go about your day.
Go over your “worry list” during the worry period. Reflect on the worries you wrote down during the day. If the thoughts are still bothering you, allow yourself to worry about them, but only for the amount of time you’ve specified for your worry period. If the worries don’t seem important any more, cut your worry period short and enjoy the rest of your day.
Postponing worrying is effective because it breaks the habit of dwelling on worries in the present moment. Yet there’s no struggle to suppress the thought or judge it. You simply save it for later. As you develop the ability to postpone your anxious thoughts, you’ll start to realize that you have more control over your worrying than you think.

Self-help tip #2: Ask yourself if the problem is solvable

Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.

Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.
Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries
If a worry pops into your head, start by asking yourself whether the problem is something you can actually solve. The following questions can help:

1. Is the problem something you’re currently facing, rather than an imaginary what-if?
If the problem is an imaginary what-if, how likely is it to happen? Is your concern realistic?
2. Can you do something about the problem or prepare for it, or is it out of your control?
3. Productive, solvable worries are those you can take action on right away. For example, if you’re worried about your bills, you could call your creditors to see about flexible payment options. Unproductive, unsolvable worries are those for which there is no corresponding action. “What if I get cancer someday?” or “What if my kid gets into an accident?”

4. If the worry is solvable, start brainstorming. Make a list of all the possible solutions you can think of. Try not to get too hung up on finding the perfect solution. Focus on the things you have the power to change, rather than the circumstances or realities beyond your control. After you’ve evaluated your options, make a plan of action. Once you have a plan and start doing something about the problem, you’ll feel much less worried.

Dealing with unsolvable worries

But what if the worry isn’t something you can solve? If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. In such cases, it’s important to tune into your emotions.

As previously mentioned, worrying helps you avoid unpleasant emotions. Worrying keeps you in your head, thinking about how to solve problems rather than allowing yourself to feel the underlying emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, the tension and anxiety bounces back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings, “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”

The only way out of this vicious cycle is by learning to embrace your feelings. This may seem scary at first because of negative beliefs you have about emotions. For example, you may believe that you should always be rational and in control, that your feelings should always make sense, or that you shouldn’t feel certain emotions, such as fear or anger.

The truth is that emotions—like life—are messy. They don’t always make sense and they’re not always pleasant. But as long as you can accept your feelings as part of being human, you’ll be able to experience them without becoming overwhelmed and learn how to use them to your advantage. The following tips will help you find a better balance between your intellect and your emotions.

Self-help tip #3: Accept uncertainty

The inability to tolerate uncertainty plays a huge role in anxiety and worry. Chronic worriers can’t stand doubt or unpredictability. They need to know with 100 percent certainty what’s going to happen. Worrying is seen as a way to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.

Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios won’t keep bad things from happening. It will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. So if you want to stop worrying, start by tackling your need for certainty and immediate answers.

Challenging intolerance of uncertainty: The key to anxiety relief
Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses. See if you can come to an understanding of the disadvantages and problems of being intolerant of uncertainty.

Is it possible to be certain about everything in life?
What are the advantages of requiring certainty, versus the disadvantages? Or, how is needing certainty in life helpful and unhelpful?
Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? Is this a reasonable thing to do? What is the likelihood of positive or neutral outcomes?
Is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen, given its likelihood is very low?
Adapted from: Accepting Uncertainty, Centre for Clinical Interventions

Self-help tip #4: Challenge anxious thoughts

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions.

Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain.

Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective.

Stop worrying by questioning the worried thought
What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true?
Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation?
What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen?
If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes?
Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me?
What would I say to a friend who had this worry?
Cognitive Distortions that Add to Anxiety, Worry, and Stress
All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle ground. “If I fall short of perfection, I’m a total failure.”
Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold true forever. “I didn’t get hired for the job. I’ll never get any job.”
The mental filter – Focusing on the negatives while filtering out all the positives. Noticing the one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right.
Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count. “I did well on the presentation, but that was just dumb luck.”
Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You act like a mind reader, “I can tell she secretly hates me.” Or a fortune teller, “I just know something terrible is going to happen.”
Catastrophizing – Expecting the worst-case scenario to happen. “The pilot said we’re in for some turbulence. The plane’s going to crash!”
Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects reality. “I feel frightened right now. That must mean I’m in real physical danger.”
‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ – Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and shouldn’t do and beating yourself up if you break any of the rules
Labeling – Labeling yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings. “I’m a failure; an idiot; a loser.”
Personalization – Assuming responsibility for things that are outside your control. “It’s my fault my son got in an accident. I should have warned him to drive carefully in the rain.”
Worry and anxiety self-help tip # 5: Be aware of how others affect you

How you feel is affected by the company you keep, whether you’re aware of it or not. Studies show that emotions are contagious. We quickly “catch” moods from other people—even from strangers who never speak a word (e.g. the terrified woman sitting by you on the plane; the fuming man in the checkout line). The people you spend a lot of time with have an even greater impact on your mental state.

Keep a worry diary. You may not be aware of how people or situations are affecting you. Maybe this is the way it’s always been in your family, or you’ve been dealing with the stress so long that it feels normal. You may want to keep a worry diary for a week or so. Every time you start to worry, jot down the thought and what triggered it. Over time, you’ll start to see patterns.
Spend less time with people who make you anxious. Is there someone in your life who drags you down or always seems to leave you feeling stressed? Think about cutting back on the time you spend with that person or establish healthier relationship boundaries. For example, you might set certain topics off-limits, if you know that talking about them with that person makes you anxious.
Choose your confidantes carefully. Know who to talk to about situations that make you anxious. Some people will help you gain perspective, while others will feed into your worries, doubts, and fears.

Self-help tip #6: Practice mindfulness
Worrying is usually focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries by bringing your attention back to the present. In contrast to the previous techniques of challenging your anxious thoughts or postponing them to a worry period, this strategy is based on observing and then letting them go. Together, they can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems, while helping you get in touch with your emotions.

Acknowledge and observe your anxious thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to ignore, fight, or control them like you usually would. Instead, simply observe them as if from an outsider’s perspective, without reacting or judging.
Let your worries go. Notice that when you don’t try to control the anxious thoughts that pop up, they soon pass, like clouds moving across the sky. It’s only when you engage your worries that you get stuck.
Stay focused on the present. Pay attention to the way your body feels, the rhythm of your breathing, your ever-changing emotions, and the thoughts that drift across your mind. If you find yourself getting stuck on a particular thought, bring your attention back to the present moment.
Using mindfulness meditation to stay focused on the present is a simple concept, but it takes practice to reap the benefits. At first, you’ll probably find that your mind keeps wandering back to your worries. Try not to get frustrated. Each time you draw your focus back to the present, you’re reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of the negative worry cycle.

A special dedication to Anne & all held back by worry.
Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Charles Chambers
The Luxury King
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Doing Business with Family; Good or Bad.

Here are five common pitfalls:
You lose their money: This is always the biggie. We always hear “Don’t invest money you’re not prepared to lose,” and I’m sure most people do feel that way when they put their money in the hands of a friend or relative. But when that money goes down the drain, people tend to become a lot less philosophical. They may say “Hey, don’t worry about it, I took the risk,” but in all likelihood your relationship will forever be tainted — whether subtly or dramatically — by the experience. Family money is often said to be the easiest to get, but it can also be the most expensive.

A deal goes bad: A good friend of mine recently did a real estate deal with one of his close relatives. They thought it’d be a hoot and they’d make a few bucks together, never anticipating that anything could possibly go wrong. But when some critical issues came up, they wound up at an impasse that turned ugly and expensive. Let’s just say they’re no longer as close as they used to be. Just like in any business matter, no matter how foolproof you think a plan may be, it’s wise to assume things can and will go wrong. And “family wrong” can be much worse than “business wrong.”

The business comes to the family picnic: There are people who can completely shut off work and draw a solid line across their lives when they close the office door behind them. I admire such people, though I know very few of them. The rest of us inevitably bring our working lives home with us in one way or another. When you do business with family and friends, at some point you’ll be with them at a barbecue, birthday, cocktail party, or wedding. If there’s tension (or worse) brewing between you, aside from your own discomfort, it will affect — and potentially infect — those around you. The result can be anything from short-term awkwardness to a full-on Hatfield/McCoy disaster.

You can’t un-ring the bell: Once you remove the “arms-length” and start doing business with people who are close to you, you often start down a course that’s hard to change or reverse. Whether it’s setting expectations (free or discounted products and services), or creating problematic assumptions (“I thought I was going to get a cut of all these referrals”), changing or getting out of friends/family dealings is much harder than business-as-usual.

There’s collateral damage: I’ve been in several situations where I’ve gotten involved with friends or family peripherally, by networking or making business connections for them. And a couple of times it came back to bite me. I’ve introduced friends to my own important business contacts, only to have that introduction turn sour. We all like to think that grownups can keep clear heads about these things, but again, human nature is such that it’s always easy to be calm and philosophical going in, much harder coming out. If you decide to play matchmaker, make sure it’s very clear to all parties that you are simply making an introduction, the rest is completely up to them. In fact, I’ll often come right out and say (only semi-humorously) “don’t blame me if you wind up hating each other,” just to put it out there. In fact, if you have any hunch that you might be making a risky connection, it’s best to bite your tongue.
Of course it would be great if doing business with those closest to us was a risk-free, rewarding pleasure. Certainly sometimes it works out fine, but often times it doesn’t.

As with many things in business, it is helpful to try to anticipate the worst-case scenario (a mildly ticked-off.

Decide who owns what
Decide who owns what percentage of the business. You may decide to split the ownership 50/50, but there may be reasons for not doing this. Maybe one of you is going to be full-time and the other only part-time? Maybe one has more equity or capital to invest in the outset?

Put together a contract
Create a written agreement, describing who does what, how much of the business each person owns, and listing what happens if someone wants to leave the business or if there are problems. Then make this agreement legal using a solicitor.

You should also consider registering your business as a limited company through Companies House.

What is a limited company?
A limited company is a company in which the liability of members or subscribers of the company is limited to what they have invested or guaranteed to the company.

Limited companies may be limited by shares or by guarantee. By limiting your company, you will give it a separate legal identity, limit the owner’s liability, benefit from some tax advantages and give you options for raising new capital. It also adds credibility and prestige to the business and means nobody else can copy your company name.

Draw up a shareholder’s agreement
This is a vital part of protecting the business and your stake in it.

It also prevents arguments ensuing later down the line – something which becomes even more tricky when you have a close personal relationship with your business partner outside the office.

There is nothing worse than having to tackle awkward conversation around the family dining table or continue with a friendship which has been tarnished by workplace disagreement.

What is a shareholder’s agreement?
A shareholders’ agreement is the business version of a marital pre-nup.

It defines what happens if people want to go different ways. It is a safeguard offering a set of terms to prevent complications further down the line, protecting the enterprise itself as well as your own investment.

An agreement will:

• set out rights and obligations

• regulate the sale of shares in the company

• describe how the company is going to be run

• provide an element of protection for minority shareholders 

• define how important decisions are to be made.
What should you include in your agreement?The key provisions to include in a shareholders’ agreement relate to:

Issuing and transferring shares, including provisions to prevent unwanted third parties acquiring shares and how a shareholder can sell shares

providing some protection to holders of less than 50 per cent of the shares – including requiring certain decisions to be agreed by all shareholders

Rule No. 1 – Don’t put family members on the payroll if they’re not working in the company or can’t make a real contribution to the business, advise SCORE small business counselors. In a start-up or family business, everybody does everything. But this is where a lot of conflicts occur. Make sure that everyone has a role and responsibilities that are spelled out and are very clear, says Jane Hilburt-Davis, president of Cambridge-based Key Resources and co-author of Consulting to Family Businesses. Establish each person’s title, job function, and compensation. And make sure that you have performance reviews for family and non-family employees alike, she adds. Moreover, think twice about offering a contract to a supplier who is a relative. Award contracts based on merit.

Rule No. 2 – Don’t create two classes of employees—family vs. non-family. Be careful not to show family members special treatment. Be aware that, in a small or family-owned business, special favors given to family members and friends de-motivate employees and set a bad example, caution SCORE counselors. Also, you don’t want non-family members to feel like a raise or promotion is out of their reach because they aren’t part of the family bloodline.

Rule No. 3 – Be careful not to abuse family relationships. Meaning, don’t either reward or punish someone because they are a relative with whom you have personal history, says business and tax consultant Augustus McMillan. “If others are disciplined for bad behavior, your family member must be disciplined also.” At the same rate, you need to reward and praise exceptional work. “Treat any employee, including family members or friends, special if they deserve it,” says McMillan, who started his career working with business clients as a bookkeeper in his mother’s firm in the mid 90’s before launching his own, McMillan Consulting in Baltimore.

Rule No. 4 – Communicate honestly and openly with employees. Don’t keep it a secret or hide the fact that you have relatives or friends working for you, says McMillan; otherwise when it eventually comes out, and it will, you’ll appear like you were being deceitful. Also, non-family employees shouldn’t feel like family members are more ‘in the know’ about what is happening with the business. The ability to have an effective communication with all members of the organization is critical. To foster a better climate among employees and improve continuous two-way communications consider holding company retreats in addition to family retreats. Hilburt-Davis also suggests that family members attend industry workshops or conferences. “These are a great opportunity for them to learn how to work together and to communicate better.”

Rule No. 5 – Don’t confuse family decisions and business decisions. SCORE counselors suggest you avoid letting family members borrow company vehicles or allowing them to ask the company’s IT person to set up their home offices. It’s also a bad idea to pass off personal expenses, such as family vacations, as business expenditures. These are perfect examples of meeting family needs with business resources, says Hilburt-Davis. “You don’t want to do that. You have to professionalize the business. Ask yourself what you would do if this person was not a family member.” For example, do all employees have access to the company car for personal use upon request?

Rule No. 6 – Establish healthy boundaries between family and business. This especially applies to copreneuers (husband-and-wife teams). Running a business together with your spouse is a balancing act. Agree and adhere to some kind of system, for example, some couples refuse to drive to or from work together. Others won’t talk about the business after 6pm, at home on the weekends, or during family vacations. Try to get away from the business quite a bit, advises Wayne Rivers, president of The Family Business Institute in Raleigh, North Carolina. “Turn off the cell phone, leave the laptop at home, and go to the island for ten days,” he says. “If you don’t tend to the relationship outside of the business, you won’t have a relationship.”

In general, it should be a rule not work with other family members off the clock and outside of the office. McMillan says it’s perfectly fine to ask someone a question about a project or client when you’re at the family cookout. But ideally this should be a five minute conversation, he says. If it goes well beyond that—15 minutes or more—you may be crossing the line, because now you are infringing on someone’s personal time. 

Rule No. 7 – Use family councils to address family matters. Some family members will share the same values but not the same vision. One sibling may want to grow the business and keep it privately owned while another sibling may want to sell it or take it public. Hilburt-Davis says a structure that more and more family businesses are creating to help resolve these types of conflicts is a family council.

A family council comprises members who may be owners but not company employees. They meet monthly, quarterly and/or annually for the strategic planning of the business over the next year to next 10 years. The more dysfunctional the family is the smaller the group to begin with, cautions Hilburt-Davis. Ideally you want to reevaluate the council after two years, at which point you may open the membership up to other family members and the next generation.

The council does not micro manage the business but addresses family issues or concerns relative to the business. If a family member is working in the business buts needs a car this is something that the family council will address. Or if a family member needs to borrow money, the council will decide if it wants to create a fund for the purpose making family loans. It’s not uncommon for family members to sacrifice income or take a pay cut to keep the business afloat during tough times. Again the council would examine how best to compensate these family members going forward.

Some family councils help establish three sets of plans: individual ones that help each member of the family determine his or her own professional goals; family plans that determine the overall goals of the family and the resources needed to achieve those objectives; and, business plans, which address such issues as ownership, management control, family involvement in the business, and long-term strategic direction of the business.

Typically one family member of the council is appointed to report to board members or shareholders. He or she would present family decisions about any type of policy procedure for the board’s stamp of approval. Think ahead. If you plan to seek private investors or go public in the future, dealings with family members outside of a business environment will be questioned and scrutinized.

Great day champions.

Charles Chambers
The Luxury King
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Goal Setting ~ Goal Attainment.

The year is eighteen days old and nothing worthwhile has happened? Does it seem impossible to follow through on something for every imaginable reason. Worry no more.

Goal Setting is simply the plan of execution of dreams but woth deadlinea. Simply put; Dreams with deadlines. “I wanna lose weight” that’s not a goal. That’s more or less a mantra. Neither is “I wanna become a millionaire this year”. Goals should be more or less all about definition and timelines. Note: should be full of positivity/Conviction not possibility.  Hence goals should be more or less; “I will lose 20kilograms by November 29.” Definition is 20Kgs, Timeline is November 29th. Positivity/Conviction is, “I will”
Set priorities. Prioritize what you want as per your long term dream. Priorities determine the possibility of attaining what you have set out for yourself due to the reaching out for your “claim”
Set Performance goals not outcome goals this is also achieved with definition. E.g I wanna be financially independent by November 20th by offering more quality services.
The term realistic hits me and am left to answer if there is anything to with hold you. What happens is we ought to see it long term and have inner faith.
Break down goals this is in order to attain a higher level of focus;
Career, this are the goals in regards to your skills and expertise or businesses.
Financial, saving, increase of investment, percentages. This is the clause letting you set you financial focus and put it into perspective.
Education/Skill; set the standards for your skill. Constantly improving and becoming indispensable is a hallmark of successful person. Earning the relevant skill will put you infront of your competition. Set a goal of how you will constantly add an extra skill.
Family; what do you wanna achieve in regards ro those you regard to as family by blood, loyalty or whatever definition you give it.
Artistic; Gaining some artistry skills is a bonus for anyone. Note that if your skill is in the artistic field it resonates in the career part. Though there isn’t a lack of an artistic doing that you are missing.
Attitude; all about state of mind. One’s state of mind should be always set and reset in order to attain success. Via books, relevant relations and all one will become conversant in this field.
Physical; how are you fairing health wise and how is your self esteem doing in regards to you physical state. Sort it out via having a goal for it.
Pleasure; work hard, play hard. Having proper financial goals and hoarding it is evil. Not supporting the tourism economy and other hospitality industries is not fair. Also ideas are rejuvenated in a different setting appart from one which one is used to. Set a goal of where to visit when and with whom.
Social/Charity works; be sure to  give back. God gives us loans and the only way he expects us to pay hin back is by giving. He set the bar at 10% but it won’t hurt going all the way to 20-30%. Give and I’ll shall receive in full measure shaken and overflowing. Though give with an open heart with no expectation of receiving it back.

Note that you ought not to bring down your goal to match society or your work ethic. Make your work ethic to match your goal and let no one tell you or guide you away from your goal. It’s yours hold onto the vision and don’t wait for a 100% degrees of sunshine work with even 5% of it and God shall grant you the desires of your heart.

Charles Chambers
The Luxury King
twitter; cc_wahome
Instagram; wealthmogul